If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
