Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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