I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
