If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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