I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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