you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
