im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
