sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
