Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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