five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
