His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
