I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
