Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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