You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
