I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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