Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
