The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
