Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
