Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My life is pants optional.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
