sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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