You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
