The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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