so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
