If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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