I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
