Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
