why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
