I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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