my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
