shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
