He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
