the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
