i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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