If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
