Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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