I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
