I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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