While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
