Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
