Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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