Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
