thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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