No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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