she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
