Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
