her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
