So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
