Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
