My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
