I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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