i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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