I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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