I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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