I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
